Reflecting..

Reflecting..

Hey! So, as you know I entered a design contest on TalentHouse.com. We had to send in a design of a playsuit for singer Jessie J to wear for her performance at Rock in Rio in Brazil. There are three prizes, Jessie J’s choice (grand prize), a runner up prize (2nd place) and People’s Choice (the person with the most votes). Jessie J’s choice is the grand prize : She will wear your design during her performance, sign your your design sketch, and $2.000. The people’s choice receives $500 and their sketch signed. A person representing Mexico won People’s choice. We won’t know who won the GRAND prize until August 27th. I finished off 3rd, which I’m very happy about. I wanted to take the time to reflect on my experience below.

I always enter fashion design contests, sometimes I win and sometimes I lose, but I can always say that I tried. I despise entering the contests that require you to get votes because I feel that it puts your destiny in other people’s hands. Don’t get me wrong, when I do enter these contests I do receive support from certain people and at times I don’t even have to ask them, which I appreciate so much. Most of the time it’s not always that simple.

I’ll reach out to some people to vote or others will inform me that they did vote when in fact they never did. Or, I’ll reach out to someone to vote for me and they’ll blatantly ignore my request. During the voting period for this contest, I actually had someone bring up an issue that I never knew that I had with them. So when I say that I despise the “if you receive enough votes..” contests, I really mean it lol. I feel like it puts you in a really vulnerable spot. These people are afraid to dream themselves. Sometimes I don’t want to enter because of those that sit there and just watch you try and purposely won’t lift a hand to help you. You ask yourself why? Really…? I thought that we were cool, you follow me on all of my social networks and just the other day you might’ve like a photo of mine and I might’ve retweeted you on Twitter. It leaves you with a dumbfounded look on your face because you can’t make sense out of the nonsense. I’ll label these people as the ‘Dream Watchers’. They will watch you go out for something and will make a point to not lift a finger to help, watch everyday to see if you win or lose, and continue to follow you on all social media. I don’t see the benefit to them, but this is what they do. The only failure to yourself is when you let these people stop you from trying, and I was guilty of that. To be honest, we all have these ‘Dream Watchers’ in our lives. Don’t give these people the power. They want you not to try, they want to stop you. Don’t ever let them do this. They feel powerful during these contests, and I never want to give them the power.

I learn a vital lesson every time I enter a contest. They say that ignorance is bliss, but my mom always tells me that the greatest gift that someone could ever give you is showing you who they really are, not who you want them to be. When the wool is snatched from your eyes, and someone’s cruel ways is mushed in your face.. it’s one of the hardest things to deal with because you can’t ignore it. It’s all out in the open and I believe it’s God’s gift and it’s up to you to open it. You might see someone as truly supportive — someone that was  always in your corner rooting for you, and then they show you who they really are. Although it’s a painful experience in the beginning, you are much better for it. A weight has been lifted. The source of the negativity is revealed and your travels moving forward are much lighter now that you know who is truly for you and who isn’t.

I’m the type of person that supports other people. I don’t care if I don’t get anything out of it because I just like to see other people do positive things that will get them closer to their dreams. If I can help you get closer to your dreams, I don’t see why I wouldn’t/shouldn’t do it.  I really don’t get why there are certain people in the world that find joy in seeing people fail after trying or laughing at someone else’s failures. It goes back to my last post, I bet if I was posting a photo of an illegal substance or ‘red cupping it’ that would get a ton of likes and support. The dream killers are always in the forefront, but we can’t let these dream crushers crush our dreams. Don’t apologize for wanting to go somewhere in life. Don’t feel bad if people don’t share in your vision.. it’s not their vision to see. Don’t ever let them see you sweat, or give up.. that is what they want. Don’t give them the power. You won’t be successful every time you try but at least you can say that you tried. Those people that try to tell you that they aren’t going to support you, or blatantly ignore your request for support don’t try. That’s one of the biggest failures, not trying.

Don’t let your numbers on social media confuse you either. You may have 10,000 followers on Instagram and 4,000 followers on Twitter but only a good hundred may support you. It’s very sad. They won’t help you win, but they make a point to check every five minutes to see how many votes you got. This goes for friends, acquaintances, and even family. I have a few family members that I haven’t spoken to in so long and they reached out to me and asked me how they can support and even went the extra mile to repost. I contacted my art teacher from middle school on Facebook (who also gave me art student of the year award at 8th grade graduation) and she was overjoyed and placed her vote, wishing me tons of luck. Let me not forget my high school art teacher who always supports every contest and move I make, she also showed her support. Even down to a kindergarten teacher of mine vote. These type of contests force you to dig deep and then you’ll be surprised who still supports you and what they remember you for.

I also have family, family that I always step up and support, family that should do without you even having to ask because you do for them, that voted but didn’t go the extra mile that you always go for them —  It’s okay though! I am not naïve, and I do see you for exactly who you are 😉 now moving forward. I haven’t spoken to my paternal side in a while, but when they heard that I was in a contest the support was strong and immediate. You didn’t have to, but you did and I truly do appreciate it. Thank you to my family in Florida, my uncle + cousins  + aunt,  you guys are always going hard for me and I appreciate all of your continued support. I even received support from family all the way in Panama. Lol thank you to my adorable grandmother who was so frustrated that she couldn’t vote because she didn’t have internet on her phone nor does she have Facebook or Twitter, but she got people on her job to vote and when she was at a social function she worked the room haha. She just called me today to tell me that she upgraded her phone to an iPhone so that the next time I’m in a contest she can vote for me. I just love her :). Thank you to Omari, my little cousin, for casting his vote with his Facebook :P. I want to say thank you to my best friend Christine for always supporting me in everything that I do, the sane and the insane lmao I appreciate your pep talks, kind words and insults & thank you to your sister Lisa too :).  Thank you to Karissa, friends since kindergarten & you always show me support! Thank you to the many business associates for posting it on their social media + sites — Thank you to my favorite makeup artist, Rina! Thank you to the owner of my favorite makeup brushes, Djimbi for your help! Thank you to Ruhksar for your kind words + support. To those of you who we might not have shared the same views/been a little salty with each other, but you gave me your vote, thank you. To all 1,700 + people that gave me your support & vote, to ALL of you that took the time out of your day, I really appreciate it and I’m writing this to let you know that I do appreciate it, you didn’t have to and you did, thank you! & thank you to my biggest supporter, my everything & other half, my momma! hahaha :*

I thought I knew who was in my corner last year in the last contest I entered.. no. I know now who is in my corner and I appreciate their support so much. I didn’t have to offer them something in order to do it or go the extra mile to repost it, some I didn’t even have to reach out to … they just supported me. Thank you. To the people that just came on the page to view, I want to say thank you for the fuel. I wanted it because I wanted Jessie J to wear my design, but I also wanted it because you didn’t want me to have it. I just have a short message for you. You are not going to stop us. You are not going to crush our spirits. I actually feel bad for you because you don’t believe in yourself enough to dream as big as the rest of us do, but you want to put a stop to what we are doing. You will not win. We will get there with or without your help. Trying to block our blessings will not speed up your own.

Although the winner has not been named (August 27th), I just wanted to take this time to reflect. I believe that I’m a winner because I went out and tried. Of course, as an aspiring designer it would be a dream to win the GRAND prize and have Jessie wear my design but this is one of the many contests that I know I will enter! This is just my reflection of my latest experience. If you find encouragement in this, then you are receiving it the way I intended. No bashing over here, just reflecting :). Win or lose, it’s not going to be my last contest lol. I have a swimwear line that’s coming out and I spent most of my Summer perfecting that and designing for some very influential people in hopes that they too will wear a Xenia Amirah original, along with a few other things. I have fashion week coming up. I can honestly say that I’ve worked this whole Summer, haven’t posted not one bikini pic lmao. At the end of the day it’s all about knowing who you are and surrounding yourself with positive and productive people.

Until next time..

xoxoPinkKisses